


Rated A For Assholes™

by IrreverentFangirl



Series: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Humans, Attempt at Humor, Epistolary, M/M, Social Media, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 11:49:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7049308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrreverentFangirl/pseuds/IrreverentFangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seaweed Brain: annabeth heLP</p><p>Annabae: What's wrong?</p><p>Seaweed Brain: 1) ewwww, y do u still txt like an old lady????<br/>2) there's a rlly cute guy in mybio1 class and im hella gay</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. scene queen/young ‘n sweet

**Author's Note:**

> this is really lame and probably not at all funny, but i amused myself with it. any typos/grammar mistakes were purposeful and based off how i felt the characters would text ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ (my fav emoticon ngl) 
> 
> i have lots of ideas for lots of chapters but i'm not sure if i'm gonna continue this ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ depends on the reaction tbh

 

**Seaweed Brain:** annabeth heLP 

**Annabae:** What's wrong? 

**Seaweed Brain:** 1) ewwww, y do u still txt like an old lady???? Its 2016

2) there's a rlly cute guy in mybio1 class and im hella gay 

**Annabae:** I’d rather text like an old lady then...however it is you text. 

And I'm sure you'll be fine, dork. He can't be that cute. 

**Seaweed Brain:**  ಠ_ಠ 

he’s fuckign gorgeoys annabeth u dont kno shit 

**Annabae:** Ugh. 

**Percy:** im gonna go talk to nico 

he understands me 

**Annabae:** I’m going to laugh when he tells you to fuck off. 

**Seaweed Brain:** ruDE 

w/e red <3s me 

**Annabae:** He already did it, didn't he? 

**Seaweed Brain:** 凸(-_-)

i hate u 

**Annabae:** Then why am I the wallpaper on your phone? 

**Seaweed Brain:** FUCK U 

**Annabae:** (✿◠‿◠)

* * *

 

**PRJ:** rach, u love me right? 

**RED:** duh???? 

omf, perce what did u do????!!!! 

**PRJ:** caLM 

CALM D O W N 

i just need validation 

**RED:** have u been reading the word calendar annabeth gave u again? 

**PRJ;** fuck u, i knwo words 

w/e 

rach, im rlly fucking gay it's a problem 

**RED:** my smol bi son 

**PRJ:** i am taller + older than u 

**RED:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**PRJ:** (ง'̀-'́)ง 

**RED:** perce, ive been ur friend for like five years 

u are my son 

**PRJ:** (ง'̀-'́)ง 

**RED:** scene queen 

young ‘n sweet 

only 23 

**PRJ:** 凸(-_-) im 22

y do u and annie h8 me? 

**RED:** bc u call her annie and text like ur in middle school??? 

**PRJ:** Fuck You™ 

I need better friends 

also u don’t get to talk 

ur a fuckign meme 

the queen of memes 

**RED:** u’ve heard of double texts, now get ready for… 

quintuple texts 

**PRJ:** im sorry my mom said i need to go home right now immediately 

**RED:** (っ◕‿◕)っ ♥ 

**PRJ:** 凸(¬‿¬)

* * *

 

**Perce:** dude neither of the girls will let me talk abt the super hot guy in my bio1 class 

**G-Man:** and you think i will? 

**Perce:** not really tbh 

i need more gay guy friends 

**G-Man:** yea


	2. Bro, you are the worst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sparky: Hypothetically   
> If I told you there’s a really cute guy in my Bio I class   
> How would you react?   
> Hypothetically 
> 
> Dumpster Queen: HOW CUTE IS HE PIKACHU   
> IS HE *MY* TYPE OR *YOUR* TYPE??? 
> 
> Sparky: More my type   
> Dark hair   
> Pretty eyes   
> G O R G E O U S lips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a little angsty near the end, but not too much. lmao sorry

**Sparky:** Hypothetically 

If I told you there’s a really cute guy in my Bio I class 

How would you react? 

Hypothetically 

**Dumpster Queen:** HOW CUTE IS HE PIKACHU 

IS HE *MY* TYPE OR *YOUR* TYPE??? 

**Sparky:** More my type 

Dark hair 

Pretty eyes 

G O R G E O U S lips 

**Dumpster Queen:** do u wanna kiss him??? 

**Sparky:** Hypothetically? 

**Dumpster Queen:** sure w/e rolls ur boat 

**Sparky:** ? 

**Dumpster Queen:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**Sparky:** Pretty sure that’s not how that saying goes 

But yes 

I want to kiss him 

Hypothetically 

**Dumpster Queen:** GO FOR IT PIKACHU 

**Sparky:** Don’t call me that

* * *

 

**Blond Superman:** Bro, you are the worst 

**Repair Boy:** wtf, i dont even know what i did 

i mean i dont disagree w/ u but wat did i do wrong??? 

**Blond Superman:** Pipes won’t stop calling me pikachu 

**Repair Boy:** lmao, i feel no shame 

**Blond Superman:** I hate you so much 

**Repair Boy:** love u 2 <3 

**Blond Superman:** I’m getting a divorce 

**Repair Boy:** NOOOOOOOO!!! 

u cant! our love is 2 strong 

**Blond Superman:** I claim custody of the children 

**Repair Boy:** ill have u kno that this is betrayel 

**Blond Superman:** Too late, I've already gotten into contact with a lawyer 

**Repair Boy:** T-T

* * *

**Queen™:** Leo just texted me to say you broke his heart 

**Nerd King™:** Reyn, he was being a jerk 

**Queen™:** He was being himself, Jason. I know you're better than this. 

Apologize 

**Nerd King™:** What did he bribe you with? 

**Queen™:** He said he'd fix your car radio so I'll never have to listen to your music again. 

**Nerd King™:** I am so hurt, I thought we were friends 

**Queen™:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  Maybe we were, maybe we weren't  

**Nerd King™:** Oh god, Pipes introduced you to those emoticons and you like them 

**Queen™:** Yes and? 

**Nerd King™:** Armageddon is upon us 

**Queen™:** Ugh 

Anyway, Piper mentioned a cute guy? When do I meet him? 

**Nerd King™:** Hopefully never 

**Queen™:** I am wounded 

Wounded I tell you 

**Nerd King™:** Reyn, every time you meet my potential s/os, they fall for you 

**Queen™:** Name one time that happened 

**Nerd King™:** Gwen, Bobby… 

Piper… 

There are more 

**Queen™:** You know I love you 

**Nerd King™:** I love you too, Reyn 

And I don’t blame you for being beautiful and perfect 

I just really like this guy 

**Queen™:** :(

I’m sorry Jason

**Nerd King™:** It’s fine! 

**Author's Note:**

> if you want you should check out my [tumblr](http://nonbinarydereknurse.tumblr.com/) to see me being a bitter, opinionated dork (✿◠‿◠)


End file.
